the feeling of being wanted
by the one u treasure the most
is the greatest feeling in the world

but when you look at the
other side of the story,
how would feel when
you are rejected
by the person who you
thought wants you more
than anything else....

will you then become
a factory of insecurities?
will you start pitying
yourself the entire day?
or will you be strong enough
to move on....

Dilemma

After everything that has happened,
am I still willing to stay?
I gave her everything that she wants
but then she left cause she wanted more.

She left me with so many questions in my head.
How could somebody claim that she loves u so much
when suddenly she'll leave you for somebody
cause she felt lonely.

She left me puzzled, she left me wondering.
I changed my stars just to be with her.
At some point I don't even care what people would say
and I did all of this just to make her stay.

Here I stand in front of a crossroad,
having dilemmas  on which direction  should I choose.
Should I go beg for her to come back so I can feel
the warmth of her embrace when her arms are wrapped around me?
or should I endure the pain brought by the coldness of being alone....

Death is the Only Option

It all starts without warning, a loved one or trusted authority thrusts a sharp dagger slicing deep into the child's innocent heart shattering its safe world of love with betrayal.  A reflex pulls the heart away as the first painful emotion brings a fear of death and insecurity.  Stunned in disbelief the child's mind scrambles to make sense of the puncture the heart has just sustained.  Confused and unable to comprehend the assault, the child accepts full responsibility. Year after year the pattern continues, as trust becomes a distant memory. 

Deep within solitude and far from discovery the mirror of the buried heart reflects failure and loneliness. The mind caught off guard responds with a legion of proof the inner voice is a lie. As time passes and silent to all others, the heart's once small whisper increases to a scream the mind can not suppress.  Plunging into a darkness of conviction and despair a knowing of the failure permeates the body.  Shocked by the inner betrayal, a rage is created that will not relent.  Over and over you seek for the one to blame, but none can be found. Through desperate fear the mind has the solution.  You are the one to blame. 

The now silent heart slowly dies unaware of its gradual fate as despair trickles into the cold voids where the dream once lived.  Day after day the darkness kills thoughts before they transform into action bringing a paralysis to life.  Moving deeper and deeper into hopelessness, the childhood dream no longer exists. Replaced with a cold hatred that the song of lies was ever heard.  Death is the only escape and love is a lie.

did it ever came into your mind
that u could just slip Back rewind in time when
everything is going smoothly by your side &
nobody has a grudge on u in
evEry thing that u do.

how would u feel if u got Lost in your direction,
no matter how hard u try,
its always coupled with some deflections.
drama begins with human frailty
these are the glitches of my Life's rEality.

i wish i could counter spIn the tiMe,
back to where i Started to stumble.
cOunter spinning time,
I've been going Round & Round in circles

as i open another bottle of beer
it only magnifies mY fear
and every time i light a cigarette
it makes me think of my regrets

never the less, every thing's to late
what happened to me is a twist of fate
it's me against the world
but im not giving up, cause in the end
ill be with her till my life suspends.....